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Monday, July 21, 2014

1st day back at work

Today was hard. My girl, Lady B, called me at 7am. 7am phone ringing generally means a call from dad. Today, I knew it wasn't him.

Went to work just sad.

Spoke to a former client this afternoon. He reminds me of my dad in ways-- always talking about the Bible, served in Germany, takes on his daughter's worries as his own. It was a bittersweet call. I'm glad that he and his daughter are able to be close. I listened to him and grieved my own.

I blasted Nirvana's Nevermind on my way towards the house.

Now, it is time for bed. Good night.

Friday, July 18, 2014

life unfolding

I don't have time to really bring you up to speed so here's me jumping into the whirlwind of life recently.

Last week, my dad died. Found his body on Tuesday; think he died on Monday. Last saw him that Sunday night. :(

Tuesday- dad's funeral.

Wednesday- woke up feeling better than I did. Perhaps the burial is the beginning of healing? But then....

Wednesday- family drama began. Dad's side. I'll call them FM & JW. They lured me to my dad's house after I told them I was handling something else at the time. Falsely reported that I was being robbed so of course, police were called.

Thursday- JM tried to rob me. A car. I called the police. They let him go.

Today (Friday)- I'm taking out a restraining order. Living in a state where close family inspires high blood pressure, high blood sugar, higher levels of pain, shaking (body), racing heart, nausea, and just sadness and disappointment is not okay.

Sunday, June 22, 2014

Memphis church search

One way my behaviors have changed from my new relationship is that I'm *in* church more on Sundays. I didn't make it today due to insufficient planning and communication, but I'm attempting to act from that place of dedication with online church acts. Today's church to visit was going to be Christ City Church. I selected it because I first saw it's sign inside Minglewood Hall, which houses two concert stages, a hookah lounge, and a tattoo parlor. It was the night I went to the Valerie June concert, the night I said, "This church chose to be between a hookah lounge and tattoo parlor; what do they have going on inside?" The Internet tells me that there services are at 10 am on Sundays and it seems they have moved to an elementary school because that location would put them at an intersection of class and race (or something like that). Okay. A vision for diversity? Pro-active steps to diversify? I can still check you out. The location I saw in an arts district-- Broad Avenue-- seems to be their administrative office. Still, location, location; I'm curious. What I don't like is that their ministers/elders are all male. Is that an official stance, Rev. McIntosh? Perhaps time will tell. Perhaps I will never be drawn so strongly that I especially care. This morning, I listened to a podcast where the pastor preaches from my favorite book, James. He definitely took it directions I did not anticipate and I found myself wanting to listen to his full 45 minute (!!wth?!) sermon. A visit is now an objective for July.

So, the 2014 Memphis church search-- I've been silent so far. I've gone to Robyn's church a few times and agreed to visit it on first Sundays with her-- a reoccurring date of sorts. She goes to visit a church with me at least once per month as well. So far, Freedom's Chapel is the only honest "what's this church like?" trip I've had. It's on my list of churches to visit because it's (or although?) predominately black, it's open and affirming, i.e., fully accepting of LGBT people. The pastor didn't preach the week we went so I have no clue what that's like; Robyn and I both want to go back for that reason. The church spoke of social justice but displayed many aspects of traditional, "black" church services. They spoke of tea parties, gave awards during service, and had the kids write and recite a poem about one of the members. I'm sure there's an Easter program ;). Old meets new-- could be interesting. There are other possibilities  on that as well, of course.

Our second church to visit, One Faith Christian Center, is pastored by my cousin. It's like I just wanted to show her my cousin's church. I enjoy the service whenever I visit so maybe I thought she would too? In retrospect, I don't know why I wanted to take her there, but I did. The suggestion was put out there probably before I even knew I would be moving to Memphis; it just took us a while to actually get there. So, once again, I enjoyed the service. I felt that I walked away with lots of inspiring words, metaphorical meat to take me on my way. What I noticed is that there is a bit of pomp and circumstance there. It isn't bad in my opinion, just noticeable. For example, the pastor entered as the choir was singing. On cue, the congregation stood up and waited for him to sit down before taking their seats again. Respect... I guess. When a room full of men do it for a woman entering the room, that's what we call it. Why blast it when done for "a man of the cloth"? So again, just noticeable. I've long seen confirmations that my cousin's call is real-- power is what I've seen to be frank-- now I'm also seeing sincerity in his mission and desires to strengthen and help others. It occurs to me that now that Memphis is again home, I guess his church needs to be on my list of places to consider as my new church home. There are reasons I don't think it'll happen, but perhaps I should give him a fair shot? I've kind of learned not to show up believing I know what kind of church I'm looking to join. Generally, that image has not been where I landed. So, I can say that traditional is not my anticipation but it can happen. There are things within tradition that I like so why not? haha

Last, there's Robyn's church that I should now consider as a potential home church. Sadly, I don't naturally feel that pull. That being said, some sermons grab me more than others and I'm sure that I have to look outside their sanctuary to decide rather or not it's the place for me. I do that extra step for all churches receiving serious consideration; hers is no different. If I do happen to fall for it and she and I don't work out, there would be the awkwardness of us being in one body as happened for her and her ex. Her ex left, which worked out nice for my gf. If we do work out and I actually join and love another body, that can be awkward because we wouldn't necessarily have that oneness that some families have on Sunday mornings. As is, I enjoy the oneness we get at least twice per month. I don't think she quite knows how much I appreciate her slipping out of her congregation, even if only once per month, to join me elsewhere. Likewise, it's nice that it means so much to her for me to join her inside her spiritual, structural home.


Friday, April 11, 2014

health tip

I read this on something my insurance company mailed me. I like it. I'm recording it. Simple. I should be putting it on sparkpeople but I don't even know where to find my blog on that page. I'm thinking of signing up on a different fitness site, starting over. Have any suggestions for someone more interested in improving their health and building strength and endurance than weight loss? Anyhow, the tip:

List the eating and exercise habits you'd like to change, and select one to work on. Don't try to change a second bad habit until the first one has become a good habit.


Sunday, March 30, 2014

mysterious, growing bumps

this is one of those times when i would have called beth. im just saying.  i miss my sis. it still doesnt seem real.

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

My insides are numb. A friend died today. My first friend to die. More on that later.

Thursday, November 7, 2013

The First Paul

There's something interesting about this book but I don't know that it's appropriate for Beloved Community. I strongly believe it shouldn't be our first book. It's almost a biography of Paul. Part of the intrigue is the varied perspectives from which the writers view him: Protestant Paul, Catholic Paul, Conservative Paul, Radical Paul, etc. I appreciate them looking at him from varied lenses to try to uncover his essence. I respect the statement that certain branches of Christianity are more about Paul than Jesus, though we never say that nor fully realize it. Interesting, but I felt the growth of my head, not my spirit, as I read.

Concerning working to bring the group to fruition, I've learned that we must purchase $50 in food to meet in Panera's group room, as suggested. No. The downtown library will be closed most of this month for renovations. Their north location closes before the group is even scheduled to begin. oh my, oh my, oh my; what's next? Looks like we're bout down to a bar or restaurant public area for our 1st meeting. Or the winery. I never called the other places initially listed when I blogged meeting location ideas, like the community center in my area. I guess I should make a few more calls. But I'm seriously thinking Miss Ollie's at this point; I just hate for alcohol to be a barrier/deal breaker for anyone.  Maybe Panera but in the open area? Or Charlie Bulldog's; it's local and uses local produce. That's a good example. That seems better. I also created and printed some advertisement cards. I put them on cars parked outside (1 side) the University of Memphis.